The Story of a Year of Teaching

Tomorrow is my last day of teaching at Zhong Hua Elementary School. It’s been an amazing, challenging, transformative year. The impact of this year has become more and more apparent in these last weeks of teaching. Way back in September, us Hualien ETAS attended a workshop where one of our TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) advisors invited us to share our challenges and frustrations about teaching so far. A lot of us shared our doubts that we were actually having a positive impact on our students and our schools. Our advisor, herself a former Taiwan ETA, told us that self-doubt is an inseparable part of teaching. She said teaching is often a thankless job, and we probably wouldn’t know our impact until the last day of school, when students, some you would never expect, will come to use and say thank you for being their teacher.

It sounded like corny, wishful thinking, until this month. My sixth graders graduated last week, so I wrote each of them a card. The day after I handed the cards out, one of my sixth-grade girls gave me this:

Sitting at my desk, reading this, I began to tear up. Her words validated all my efforts this year. I can try my best to show my students that I care about them and that they matter, but it’s hard to tell if those messages are getting through. Unless a student says it as clearly as this student did. Other students gave me hand-written cards too. It may seem small, but I know I did something right if I’ve inspired these kids to go out of their way to write in English and express themselves with new language.

In this last week of teaching, I’ve also learned that kids express their appreciation in less obvious ways. I’ve gotten a lot of whiny, “你為什麼回美國?” (Why do you have to go back to America?) which I understand as a child’s form of a compliment. Fourth graders have stopped their regular shenanigans to gather around me and ask me questions about my life in America. One of the girls in my afterschool tutoring class wrote on the black board before class, “Teacher Emma, where do you want to visit?” ‘Visit’ isn’t one of their vocab words, which means she had to do some extra research to ask me that question. This past year of teaching has taught me that time, attention, and effort are the most meaningful gifts a student can give you.

Teaching was a completely new, challenging experience for me. I desperately wanted to know that my presence in the school was actually beneficial to the students’ lives, that this year wasn’t just about me and my ego. I was constantly struggling to balance the school system’s expectations of test scores and grades with my goal for my students to have fun in English class. I had to balance my roles as a teacher and a friend to my students. The majority of the time, I didn’t know if I was doing anything right. Maybe my students would just remember me as that weird foreigner who years ago tried and failed to get them to use English. But the actions of my silly, smart, amazing students these final weeks have shown me that for at least some of them, I helped them love and use English. I showed them that foreigners aren’t so scary, after all, and they can talk to them in both English and Chinese. This knowledge brings meaningful conclusion to my year, and I can leave Taiwan knowing my time was well spent here.

The Story of Running, Climbing, Tracing

Photo from the beautiful Walami trail in southern Hualien County

                Hello again! I wish I could have updated this blog more often throughout my second semester in Taiwan, but I’ve honestly been too busy. This busy time has been my deliberate choice to fill as much of my time when not teaching as possible. The truth is, three months ago, I wasn’t feeling so great. I try to keep an upbeat tone on this blog, because I know I’m lucky to be here, but living abroad is a series of both ups and downs. At nine months away from home, I was starting to feel the fatigue of homesickness, even as I wanted to love my time in Taiwan. Around that time, I was in a scooter accident (long story short, I hit a truck) which while it could have been a lot worse, took me some time and effort to physically and emotionally recover from. Beyond that, at certain point in one’s year abroad, the newness and excitement of everything wares off and one falls into a rut where boredom and sadness take over.

                But I didn’t want to spend my last few months in Taiwan miserable, just counting down the days until I returned to Minnesota, so I decided I had to try something new. Actually, I had to try several new somethings. So, while I previously believed I would only ever run if something was chasing me, I joined a gym and began running almost every day. Running helped me blow off steam. It got me out of the house and out of my head. Last week, I completed my first 5k ever in Taipei. I finished at 29:10 minutes, which for someone who ran fourteen-minute miles in high school, was pretty impressive.

Running a 5K on a very rainy day in Taipei. Rewarding myself with bubble milk tea afterward.

                I also learned how to rock climb. Several of the people in my program regularly go to the bouldering gym here in Hualien, and though they often invited me to join them, I always said no. I associated rock climbing with the middle school horrors of being halfway up a wall, paralyzed by fear, with all my peers judging me from down below. But when I finally decided to give rock climbing a chance here in Taiwan, I discovered that adult climbing gyms are actually really supportive environments focused on reaching personal goals. Rock climbing isn’t about being afraid of falling but learning how to fall so that you don’t injure yourself. I now try to go to the bouldering gym at least once a week. My hands are calloused. My arms and legs are speckled with bruises and scrapes. But I never feel stronger than when I’ve just finished a successful climb or a long run.

                I was able to put all of my new physical abilities to the test when a few weeks ago, some other ETAs and I went river tracing. River tracing involves a guide leading you up through a river to special spots like pools and waterfalls. It’s like hiking, except all uphill, against the current, often submerged up to your waist in cold water. Throughout the whole journey, we were lifting ourselves up over rocks, planting our feet on the riverbed while the current fought against us like a firehose. When we got past the part of the river where all the other tourists stop, the water was so clean and we were alone in this beautiful river that snaked through the forest up into the mountains. We stood underneath three-story waterfalls and jumped off (small) cliffs. The whole process was intense and exhausting but also one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve had in Taiwan.

                My time in Taiwan has taught me that one has to look at the whole picture when it comes to their own health. Before coming here, I was pretty good at paying attention to my mental and emotional health, but I thought little of my physical health. Now I realize that my physical health directly impacts my mental health, and vise versa. I’m stronger, both physically and emotionally, than I previously realized. I have more power than I thought to overcome the obstacles of a year abroad and fully enjoy my time in Taiwan. So in the future, I’m going to keep running and climbing and pushing myself to be better than my expectations.